But I Am Here by Pamela Bettencourt
This book is a step by step illustration of how a child sexual molester targets their victim, controls the victim and the destruction the abuse causes in the victims life. It is a series of personal experiences shared by a survivor of child sexual abuse. This is not a book written by an outsider. This book is written by a victim of long term child sexual abuse. In this book it is outlined firsthand how a predator gains total control of their victim and how the victim responds to the abuser’s manipulation. It shows what happens if an abuser’s friends and relatives don’t separate the common behaviors associated with child sexual abuse from the person. If you can spot the sexual abuse then you can stop it. This book will help you broaden your knowledge base so children aren’t left alone to protect themselves.
Before I began my journey of healing from my abuse I often thought my amazing memory was a curse. Today I have to believe that God didn’t curse me with the ability to remember almost every detail of my years of sexual abuse. I have to believe this is a blessing, a gift to guide me to help others and not to just torture me. Since I have shared my story privately and publicly I have seen the ignorance that exists around this topic. Both with professionals and nonprofessionals. One of my long term physicians told me just prior to his retirement, “There is nothing in your record about your past. I would never put anything like that in your permanent medical record.” Although I appreciated his efforts in maintaining my privacy, the need for this conversation was disheartening to me. ”I have also heard, “I have never met anyone personally with your experiences.” Well, you have but just don’t realize it. I told my therapist during one of our very first sessions that I would reveal my secret about my history of child sexual abuse when I felt I could do more good than harm with the sharing of it. That time, I feel, is here.