Mystical Knight Of Light - A collection of poems by T.M. Kolt

Mystical Knight of Light A collection of poems by T.M. Kolt

When Christopher first announced Breaking Rules was looking for guest bloggers, I thought what a great way to promote my brother’s book of poems. I was excited to share his words and thoughts and of course, his first published book, then reality quickly set in. What would I say? I didn’t write the poems. I have no idea what he was thinking or what gave him inspiration to write. How would I explain who Tony was without sounding biased or judgy? Am I really the right person to share his story? Afterall, Tony and I had very different writing styles. My writing is educational in nature and comes from research and compiling facts for articles about animals and nature, boring I know. His writing, be it his poems, philosophical works or his past lives stories were fueled by his emotions, his curiosity, and his desire to learn and to teach others. 

I decided to do what he would, write from my heart, tell you a little bit of his story and share who I knew him to be and what I learned about him through this experience of compiling his poems and working with Breaking Rules. 

So where do I start, how about from the end? Tony left this earthly realm on December 23, 2018. It was a shock, but it shouldn't have been. He became ill in late 2014. After being misdiagnosed by one doctor and the local emergency room and suffering for several months, he sought another opinion. He received a phone call from his new doctor In July of 2015 informing him that he had colorectal cancer and a tumor that would need to be removed. Yes, he was given this news over the phone while at work. He would later write that was the day his world changed. He said, "there was a peaceful calm that this was my fate, but also the tears of a child not wanting it to be his destiny!" 

To be honest his troubles started years earlier. In 2010, while living in Kansas he was falsely accused of a crime that he did not commit. He sat in jail for two years awaiting a speedy trial before he was exonerated and found innocent. He lost everything except the clothes he had on. All of this led to a ton of stress that very well could have caused his illness. Fast forward a few years with a failed surgery, (the tumor was inoperable) a full round of chemo, a full round of radiation and a second attempt at chemo when he decided to stop all treatment. He was determined to heal his body or evolve. 

Why share this with you? Because it was during these times that he wrote the most. While in jail he wrote for countless hours on yellow legal tablets. He wrote about how it felt to be there where he didn't belong, about how desperate he was to get on with his life and on some days, how he thought the truth would never be told and it was his fate to never be free again. He wrote about religion and philosophy. Tony had a passion for learning, reading everything on the subject that he could get his hands on. He studied meditation and started writing about his past life experiences and started to think of his time as a sabbatical. Every week he would send packets of his writing to myself and our mother. It wasn't until he was back home in Florida and diagnosed with the C word that he started writing his poetry.

He had an unusual method of saving his poems by sending them to himself in email. When he wanted to add or change something there would be a new email. Not only his poems but he also wrote of his feelings and frustrations and letters to others but never sent. You can only imagine what it was like for my sister, our cousin and myself combing through hundreds of emails to find the poems that were included in his book. During this time of dealing with side effects of the “poison” cure, when he had so much time on his hands, he took his handwritten pages and typed them out on word documents. To make matters worse, our mother was also battling her own fight with the same cancer. He told me once that he felt he got sick so he could help guide her through her struggles and hopefully make it easier for her. Unfortunately, she lost her battle only a couple months before Tony did. I like to think she was waiting for him on the other side. 

My brother was never what you would call mainstream. He would describe himself as the lone wolf type and he seemed to enjoy that lifestyle. Besides learning and teaching, living a life full of adventure was important to him. It started when he left home at 17 to join a traveling carnival and continued through most of his life. This lifestyle though can be lonely when you leave family and friends behind. Sadly, we didn’t realize how alone he truly felt until reading through his writings. 

When he finally decided enough was enough, no more treatments, he put his faith in his mind’s ability to help him heal along with natural homeopathic methods. He had us convinced he could do it. For a time, he did well but eventually his body started to betray him. At that time, he came to stay at our farm sanctuary. He had a natural connection to the animals and the outdoors. It was nice that he had that short time here with them. 
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for his body to break down further from the affects of the radiation treatments. A trip to the hospital resulted in him being told he had three days at most to live and was sent to a hospice house. Three weeks into his hospice stay they decided he was not going to die and would need daily care. Even though he had hospice care while on the farm they couldn’t come every day, he was unable to stand on his own and needed daily wound care. At 51 years old he would spend the last four months of his life living in a nursing home. Again, he had us convinced he wasn’t done yet. He worked daily with a therapist and was able to not only stand but to walk. He would push his wheelchair up and down the halls. 

His determination was never more evident, he would heal or evolve to his next life. The time at the nursing home became a time for him to connect with family and the healing would be of old wounds not body. It was also a place where his loneliness and depression would evolve into forgiveness and being thankful. His poems too reflect these changes. His last writing a week before he passed talked of seeing himself standing beneath a tree, peaceful and healthy.

As a final gift to the animals or “puppies” as he called them, he donated his works to our sanctuary. Getting his poems into print not only would fulfill a dream for him, and keep the promise I made, it would also give people insight as to what he was feeling during his journey.

To purchase  Mystical Knight Of Light please use the link below. 

​https://www.breakingrulespublishing.com/store/p308/Mystical_Knight_Of_Light_-_A_collection_of_poems_by_T._M._Kolt.html



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